Five Predictions for 2012

Here are five predictions for 2012. Let me know if you think I’ve missed an important one.

• Jamie Oliver invents an organic sprayable cheese that sells for $15 a can at Whole Foods. 
• Ayatollah Ali Khamenei finally lifts the fatwa against Salman Rushdie, only to immediately call for the head of “culinary rock star” Guy Fieri.
• President Obama, feeling the oats of his second-term election, names Carrot Top Supreme Chancellor of Prop Comedy.
• PODS’ stock price skyrockets as school districts around the country—dealing with unprecedented budget shortfalls—turn to the storage company to provide makeshift classrooms for overflow students.
• Kim Jong-un declares hi-top fade to be the official hair style of North Korea and puts Christopher “Kid” Reid on the 10 won bill.