The Other Half

Whenever I fly, I like to flip through the latest copy of Sky Mall to see what the other half is up to. Did you know that rich people, when they’re not at Illuminati meetings ruling the world, wear special helmets that simulate thousands of tiny fingers simultaneously massaging your scalp? (Maybe they wear them at meetings, too?) These well-heeled gentlefolk also have bars hidden inside of what appear to be antique globes. Should their fortresses ever be broken into, at least their Dalmore 62 single Highland malt scotch whiskey will be safe. And why do people think that wealthy people are all heartless Scrooges? As the photo below clearly shows, some take great pains to make sure getting in the back of the Hummer isn’t too stressful for Killer.